Thoughts
by LiannaKeru
Summary: Since coming to Port Charles, Samantha McCall has led one scheme after another until she got pregnant and met Jason Morgan. Sam’s POV


This is the very first "General Hospital" fanfic that I wrote by myself. My very first GH fanfic actually is "When Two Worlds Collide" which is now being revamped and rewritten. I came up with this story a couple of months after being brought back into the show. I had watched when Steve went from Jason Q. to Jason M., watched Sarah Brown, then Tamara Braun and slowly left the show after watching the boring coupling of Jason and Courtney, although I loved them at one point. When I came back I watched a new woman in Jason's life. When she picked up a gun I was immediately in love with the thought of Jason/Sam. I still am a very big fan even though at the moment I do not like where TPTB are taking JaSam fans!

Enjoy! And thanks to Michelle (shellbell822 on for beta reading.

**Disclaimer:** I do not own the characters of "General Hospital". They belong to ABC, Disney, and their creators. I just like to use them for my own entertainment.

**Summary:** Since coming to Port Charles, Samantha McCall has led one scheme after another until she got pregnant and met Jason Morgan. Sam's POV

**Rated:** PG

**Thoughts**

_Samantha McCall_

I snort at the sound of my own name, if only it was my own name. Ever since I was a young girl I have been scheming people one after the other. I even sold my body to men thinking if I could just get them into my bed it would all be over and I would be that much richer. I had no idea at that time that I had stopped feeling. That I had stopped feeling for others as well.

Meeting Sonny Corinthos changed my life, however, at a moment when I did not know if I actually loved Sonny, but I do know one thing. He gave me a life. He gave me my daughter. When I became pregnant with her, nothing else seemed to have mattered. The things that I had done in the past didn't seem to matter anymore. Only the baby I carried.

Jason helped me by keeping secret that the baby was Sonny's and took on the role of the father of my baby. During the course of that time, I found myself falling in love with him. I began a new future because of him and the baby. I fell in love. Everything else didn't seem to matter, until little Kristina got sick. Alexis needed the cells from the umbilical cord to save her daughter, but I refused…I couldn't bear the thought of it. In a way, however, I was ashamed of my actions at that stage of the pregnancy, but then something awful happened.

I lost her. I lost my baby girl. The life that I held inside of me for months was gone, and I was devastated. She was the one ticket out. The ticket out of the schemes and everything that I had done in the past. She was the one thing that I could love and not be burned by because of my past actions. I loved her unconditionally and I wonder sometimes if I loved her too much and that's why she died. Or maybe she was sent down only for a little while to make me realize that I was loved in this world by somebody. That I wasn't alone.

I had never seen a man stand by me like Jason Morgan did, and for that I loved him even more. He became my strength…my wall of protection. That wall kept all the bad out and the good in. He made me feel loved. Although, I cannot say if I will ever get to the courage to express to him the truth, my thoughts, and my feelings there is one thing that I have no problem letting him know. That I love him.

Whatever I felt for Jax, Sonny, or any other man from my past, would never compare to what I felt for Jason and I thank God everyday that he came into my life when I needed him the most.

Some of my past actions have come back to haunt me. The way I was with Jax when I first arrived and the way I am with Jason at this point in my life has made Courtney Matthews hate me with so much of herself that I feel she will soon lose Jax. Her insecurity and hate will be the undoing and I fear no one will be there to rescue her when she falls.

The second man that I was with, Sonny…I have to say that I have no qualms with him, but his wife is another story altogether. She hates me and I know it. I try to stay out of her way and even try to help her, but it is not enough. I feel that she does not want me to be with Jason and that upsets me so much that I want to strangle her, just so I can knock some sense into her. I am not going anywhere.

Besides Carly's extreme hate for me, I have helped Jason cope with the loss of Michael; but that changed when we realized that he was alive and was kidnapped by AJ Quartermaine, who was presumed dead. That hit something within Jason that suddenly made me afraid. Not of him…but what he would do to AJ when he found him.

With the accounts, we found AJ in the Bahamas, but he'd left and it was presumed that he had taken little Michael to Italy, however, they had come back to Port Charles and were staying in the Quartermaine mansion in the attic. By that time, Jason knew where he was and we went there together. I had no idea at that time that AJ had shot his father and he had gone upstairs where Jason was going. All I knew was that two brothers were coming face-to-face and I didn't know if Jason was going to live or die.

The answer came when shots were fired and I felt my heart tighten…_Jason_! I stood there helpless as both he and AJ fell to the ground from the second story. My heart stopped beating until Jason awoke and then I breathed again. Going to the hospital should have been easy for me, because I have done it over a million times before; but this time it was different, I was different.

Jason almost died! I knew then and there that I would not leave this man and I never wanted him to leave me. It was hard to see the emotions on his face, and even harder when Carly dismissed me right in front of him. I only left because I couldn't bear another confrontation with that woman and I went to go and sign the release papers. When I came back he was gone and my heart tightened again. I know he has to help Carly and I love him for it, but for once I would like for him to put himself first. To put his life first.

I went over to Sonny's and was not surprised that Jason would take Carly's fall for her, if it meant that she would be free. I knew in that moment that if he took the fall, I would take it for him. I would tell the police it was me that killed AJ not Carly nor Jason. I would make sure that Jason was set free and to make it even more surprising, I would take his fall for the Sandovals. Sonny Corinthos and Jason Morgan would never be arrested. They would be free and Jason would too.

If only the man would let me do it. Life has changed for me in the past several years and even though I do not know my whole past I finally feel wanted and loved. I feel loved by Jason and for me that is enough. I just hope that our love will survive what is to come in the near future. I hope that in time our lives become a bit more stable…and I hope that one day we will share a family of our own. That will be my biggest achievement of all.

THE END


End file.
